Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just googled if crying burns calories
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
