and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
