I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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