barbara walters just said penis...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
