He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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