nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
