It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
