P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
