i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
