its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
