There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
