theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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