hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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