Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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