Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
