69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
