You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
