Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
