plz talk dirty to me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
