Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
they need to just BURY HIM!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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