Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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