So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
