Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
