People with herpes should wear stickers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
