I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
