Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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