it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They took my balls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
