wakey wakey hands off snakey
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
