Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
