What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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