i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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