her vagine was all disorganized.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
