i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
