I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
