we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
