I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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