I can text with my tongue
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
