just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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