dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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