do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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