I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
