Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
