found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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