THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
