Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
