Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
