how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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