And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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