At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this will be a night to untag.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
