There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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