i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
