you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
